


grieving

by apisdn



Series: talk therapy saves lives [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Character Study, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Psychological Trauma, References to Really Awful Stuff, Slavery, The Jedi Order is Bad At All These Things, Therapy, mental health
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:14:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24201886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apisdn/pseuds/apisdn
Summary: Session transcripts from the therapy of Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Series: talk therapy saves lives [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1662367
Comments: 53
Kudos: 256





	grieving

(As recorded by the droid G-AT1)

Dr. Ber Thi’ad (BT): Hello Anakin—I can call you Anakin right?

Anakin Skywalker (AS): I guess.

BT: Would you like your... Mr Kenobi to sit in on this session to help us get started or do you want to be by yourself?

AS: I get to choose?

Obi-Wan Kenobi (OK): Of course Padawan. Whatever you want.

<AS appears conflicted, there is a 4.8 second pause>

AS: You’ll be right outside. And you’ll come in if I... need you later.

OK: Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.

<AS nods and sits. OK leaves the room>

BT: So, Anakin, before we get started I want to make it clear that if you’re ever uncomfortable answering or pursuing a line of thought you can tell me to back off. I know it’s not what you’re used to, but I don’t want you to feel like you don’t have a choice.

<AS appears surprised and then cautious>

AS: Obi-Wan said I have to come

BT: Attendance is between you and him, but what we talk about here is just us. If you want, I could just talk and you don’t have to say anything.

AS: I don’t have to... tell you things?

BT: You don’t have to tell me anything. It would make this harder though, because without understanding I can only guess what would help you. Therapy is most effective when we work together.

AS: So I should do what you say.

BT: If you’re comfortable with it Anakin, but if you’re not there yet that’s okay too.

AS: Can I decide again, um, change my mind?

BT: Anytime you want.

AS: Okay.

<there is a pause of 3.1 seconds>

AS: How do we start?

BT: There’s a lot of ways. You get to choose. Do you want to dive in and hash out some therapy goals today or get to know me first.

AS: uh... which is better.

BT: neither. You get to choose.

AS: I am not... good at that.

BT: That’s all right. You can take your time.

<pause of 9.4 seconds>

AS: And I can… change my mind?

BT: At any time.

AS: Let’s go slow. For a bit. And then do the other thing when I’m...

BT: more comfortable?

AS: Yes.

BT: That sounds good. Slow it is. So, let's start basic. How are you feeling today?

AS: ...I’m cold.

BT: there’s a blanket on the back of the couch.

AS: And I can use it?

BT: Yes you may. You can use the blanket there, or the tissues on your left, or the water bottles in that cabinet at any time without even asking.

<AS appears suspicious, but takes the blanket>

BT: Feeling cold is a start, but more than what you’re physically feeling I want you to consider--what emotions are you feeling?

AS: You mean I didn’t answer right?

BT: No, you answered perfectly fine, I just asked a follow up question.

AS: Because I didn’t answer good enough.

BT: Anakin, this is therapy, there aren’t any wrong answers. If either of us feel like we haven’t communicated well enough, it is okay to clarify what you were asking. That doesn’t make the answer from before wrong.

AS: But feeling means what you are… touching? Um, maybe like uh… having the feel of?

BT: It can mean that, yes, but it also means what emotions you are having--whether you’re happy or sad.

AS: Oh. I didn’t know that.

BT: That’s okay. Your papers do say basic isn’t your first language, but you’re very good and I’m sure you’ll learn fast.

AS: But I don’t get it now. I’m not… a good talker yet.

BT: You don’t have to be. It’s okay to need time to learn.

AS: No it’s not. The Masters… I’m already behind the others. I don’t want to… fail.

BT: You know, that’s an interesting view. What makes you feel like you’re behind.

AS: What do you mean! I can’t even talk right, or read, or do their funny math and I don’t know anything about the force and Obi-Wan… nevermind it’s not important.

BT: It seems pretty important to you.

<AS glares; pause of 4.9 seconds>

AS: I don’t want to be sent away. Obi-Wan says… Obi-Wan says he won’t but what if I’m not good enough and… I don’t know. I just don’t want to fail.

BT: Being behind, failing--I don’t think that’s what’s happening here. You come from a different place than these people and that means you know different things, but it doesn’t mean that what you know is not as good as what they know.

AS: Yes it does. I’m meant to--trying to be a good padawan but I don’t know anything about the Force or anything.

BT: Yet. You’ll learn. But for now, let’s focus on what you do know. What are some things you are good at? Maybe tell me three things, and an example of when you were able to use that skill.

AS: Um. Good at… I’m. Piloting. I’m good at piloting. I won the Boonta Eve Classic. And… Building stuff. I made a whole droid for my mom, and yesterday I helped Obi-Wan fix the heater. Um… cooking. My mom says I’m very helpful when she makes things.

BT: So you do know a lot of things--valuable things.

AS: Not the important stuff.

BT: I think those things are important. Do you think your skills--piloting, building, helping around in the kitchen--aren’t important?

AS: No. They are. We… I don’t know. It’s… good? That I know those things. But they don’t help me with what I’m supposed to know.

BT: The ones you feel ‘behind’ on.

AS: Yes. I don’t know if I can catch up.

BT: It’s okay to go a different speed than others and be good at different things. Hm, why don’t we try a little exercise. I want you to say you’re not good at something yet, but you will be. Like this--I’ll go first; ‘I’m not good at dejaric yet, but I’m working on it and someday I will be good at it’

AS: That seems stupid. I already know I’m going to work on it.

BT: Then it will be easy because it’s true. Just try it.

AS: ...okay. I’m not good at reading in basic yet…

<AS glances up; BT nods encouragingly>

AS: ...but I’m working on it, and someday I will be. Good at it. At reading.

BT: Yes you will. Now, did that statement feel true?

AS: What?

BT: When you said that, were you saying something true, or did it sound like a lie.

AS: Um… true? It’s true. I’m going to learn it.

BT: Good. I think that’s going to be your homework for this week. Whenever you feel discouraged about learning, I want you to say--aloud even if it’s quiet--that you’re working on it and someday you’ll be good at it. Just like we just practiced.

AS: That still won’t help me know it. And a lot of the time there’s things nobody’s learning that they just… know.

BT: You can learn those things too, you just have to ask. I’m sure that your… that Obi-Wan would help you.

AS: No! I can’t ask him!

BT: Why is that?

AS: It’s stupid. I, uh. I just. I don’t want him to think I’m dumb.

BT: Would he really think you’re dumb? I’ve only met him for a few minutes, but he doesn’t seem like he would judge you for asking questions.

AS: He wouldn’t! Obi-Wan is the best.

BT: So he won’t think you’re dumb?

AS: ...No. I still don’t want to ask. I will… look dumb, when I ask. Even if he doesn’t say anything.

BT: Do you ever ask him questions?

AS: All the time. Just… not the dumb ones. Even though I know… that would be okay?

BT: It is. It’s very okay to ask dumb questions. I’m sure as you get more comfortable you’ll be able to ask those too, but it’s fine if you need some time first. Until then though, you could ask me.

AS: You? Aren’t you supposed to be my doctor?

BT: Yes. My job is to help you feel good and be able to live happily. If answering questions you’re uncomfortable asking anyone else will help you with that I would be happy to.

AS: And you won’t tell anyone?

BT: Not a single person.

AS: ...okay.

<pause of 6.8 seconds>

AS: What’s a rain check? And why is spice illegal here? And where does all the water from the shower go after you’re done? And--

BT: Woah woah… one at a time. I won’t be able to remember the whole list.

AS: Fine. But you have to tell me.

BT: It’s what Mr. Kenobi is paying me for. So, rain check. Have you ever been in the rain?

\--Transcript edited for brevity & visual cues added. Rest of session accessible  here \--

Note: Rest of session deleted for space, largely questions about Basic idioms and Coruscanti cultural concepts.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to play with different methods of storytelling, hence the transcript format. If it's weird just say so and I'll switch it to the original version, but idk. I think it's interesting how constrained it is.  
> Also--I consulted my therapist on several things here, and a lot of others are based on my personal experiences, but if I get a mental health thing wrong please tell me because I don't want to spread damaging stereotypes. This isn't wattpad so we're being legit about it.


End file.
